For as long as I can remember, I've had a phobia about mice. In fact, my earliest childhood memory is of a mouse trap and a drop of red blood on the linoleum in our kitchen. I think I was around three years old. I suppose this irrational fear might have also developed by osmosis. My mom was terrified of mice and on a number of occasions I remember her catapulting to the top of a freezer or table when she saw one.
So now you understand why my husband said to me the other day, "In the spirit of full disclosure....I caught a mouse." He knows how ridiculously obsessed I am about these fast moving, turd-dropping vermin.
While cleaning behind the refrigerator in our new-to-us old house, David saw evidence of mice and so kindly set a trap or two. Once one was caught, he knew it was important to tell me the truth, as much as I hated to hear it. He told me because he knew I would want to know.
His 'in the spirit of full disclosure" comment is a variation of another good question I ask as a spiritual director. "In the spirit of full disclosure, what is it that you want or need to tell God?"
It's interesting that some of the most important things we should be talking about with God are often avoided. Things that involve strong emotions. Disappointments we have with him. Dreams inside us that we're afraid to name. Conflicts that make us upset.
These are often the "stuff" of important conversation with God because they represent the reality of our lives and the wars of our internal world. And they are the kinds of things he wants to know. Not that he doesn't already know about them. These hard-to-talk-about topics often form the crux of conversations that open lines of communication and remove blocks in our intimacy with God.
So, what is it that, in the spirit of full disclosure, you need to talk about with God? God wants to know what you have to say. Imagine him as he listens with rapt attention; unbiased and non-judgmental; full of grace and truth.
Now try it and see what happens.